They serve no purpose whatsoever in this country. They bark and they stink and they make this city uglier. To be fair, I'm mostly talking about the dogs that live next to us and I don't count chihuahuas as dogs, but they do seem particularly useless.
I would pity them if they were not so annoying. Our landlords have three dogs: Momma/Grandma, Son/Father/Brother, and deranged puppy. They can get onto the roof of their house and bark at us from a mere 3 feet away. This seems to be their favourite pass-time. They also trip on the cable and knock the TV out daily. So... we have to climb from our balcony onto their roof and plug it back in. We are armed with a stick in case "Pookito", emphasis on the "Poo", gets any ideas. We have tried to train them: they get rocks if they bark, crackers if they are quiet. However, they are so inbred that they can't seem to figure it out. After a good tongue lashing and a couple of small rocks they will usually charge down the stairs and chew on each other for a bit, but that seems to make them smell worse. The only washing they get is rain washing. But they hate the rain. They hide under a rusty corrugated steel roof. Instead of getting a thorough soaking, they just get damp and end up smelling like wet, unwashed dog.
Steph is probably thinking that I am being unfair to these unfortunate animals and as usual, she is probably right. You can never really blame an animal for its behaviour, especially when they never get any walks and the only time anyone pays attention to them is when they scream: "CALLATE!!!" Originally, they must have been intended as some sort of guard dogs because they do seem intimidating until you realize that they are much more frightened of you than you are of them. They are a hideous mixture of pit-bull and stupid. Momma/Grandma ("Pooka", also emphasis on the "Poo") must have some sort of cow in her. She is not big, but when she had her nine puppies (yes, nine) she must have been giving a gallon of milk a day. The udder on her was truly a thing to behold. "Jefe" (the deranged puppy) is one of that litter (emphasis on the double entendre). Steph does a great impression of his deranged bark. Despite the fact that "Pookito" was locked in the front yard for the better part of a month while "Pooka" was in heat, it seems she is with spawn once again, judging by the swelling of her udder.
In the interest of balance, I should perhaps mention the moments of cuteness. When I first get up in the morning they are often sleeping in one gloriously incestuous heap and you can't tell one from the other. "Pookito", despite the fact that he is the meanest, cocks his head to the side and raises one ear. I think he does this because he is trying to count the forks in his family tree and he discovers that it is actually a family plate of spaghetti.
I once heard a girl talking about how disgusting it was to see a man kiss his dog. Dogs are not pets here. I'm really not sure what they are. I guess they are just another domino that makes up the set of Dominican culture.